Here’s Annie
“What we know matters,
But who we are matters more”
~ Brené Brown
I find this really interesting -
That my choice of career, my desire to help, support and empower women as they make this huge leap into motherhood is a ‘million miles’ away from own pregnancy journey!
I was a nursing Ward Sister at the time . . . my plans to be a Midwife hadn’t come to fruition at this time!
I’d had problems conceiving and some fertility investigations had been scheduled . . . when, out of the blue (!), there she was - complete with horrible morning sickness that seemed to extend throughout the day!
Oh, some days I felt so yucky 🤢!
Anyway, my pregnancy progressed fairly normally, I guess, and I can really remember how I felt having this little one growing inside. The first time I felt her move was magical . . . and then I wanted to feel her again just to be sure that it was actually her moving - and not some trapped wind!
I remember thinking it all looked ‘relatively easy’ - although to be honest, it was really hard to see what we were being shown as we all had to crowd around the most tiny portable TV.
We were also treated to ‘relaxation’ sessions where we all had to lay on the floor. I don’t remember there being any form of mattress so, in essence, I could never get comfortable (or warm) and definitely never felt relaxed!
Labour didn’t progress very quickly and I didn’t cope very well.
It certainly didn’t ‘feel’ like the film we’d been shown and, to be honest, I didn’t like it very much!
It seemed to ‘drag’ on . . . and for the most of the time I was continuously monitored as I was considered “High Risk” due to my membranes having ruptured sometime earlier.
I totally forgot about the breathing and relaxation techniques I’d learned (or learned really badly!) in class . . . and there was no-one there to remind me . . . or breathe with me . . . or to hold my hand as each contraction crescendoed.
In fact I was alone in the delivery room for most of the time . . . as this was before the initiative of One to One Care in Labour - and my husband seemed to be absent or asleep for most of this time (hungover I imagine!)
Long story short, at some point the midwife came into the room and saw that the monitor was displaying signs that my baby was not coping well. A quick examination showed that I was (still) only 7cm dilated and that baby had shifted her position and was now in, what was called, a ‘face presentation ’. . . and then it seemed “all hell broke loose” and I was being wheeled at speed up the corridor toward the obstetric theatre for a ‘crash’ caesarian section.
The antenatal classes, at that time, were run over 6 weeks or so and were delivered by my Community Midwife and a Physiotherapist. We were shown monochrome birthing videos that appeared to have been made in the 1960’s where the characters were super polite and very middle class!
I remember the night well!
We’d met up with friends for some supper and, all evening, I felt a bit ‘uncomfortable’.
It never crossed my mind that labour might be starting as I had a few weeks to go before my due date.
And, so, it wasn’t until we were driving home that I had a little suspicion that I’d “wet” myself!
Then the reality hit me!
Does it sound dramatic if I say I thought I was going to die?
Because, in all honesty, in the fleeting moments before the anaesthetic mask was placed over my face, this is, most definitely, what was going through my mind.
But, obviously, that didn’t happen . . . thankfully(!)
Although, it was a really scary experience.
However, there have been many times I’ve wondered if things could have been different.
And, of course, we can never know that . . . although that didn’t stop what I call the “what if” questions!
So maybe, just maybe, my experience was the catalyst for me to learn more . . . about midwifery, to train in a whole range of body therapies, healing modalities and life coaching techniques - and then bring this to my work in educating, enabling and empowering women through their pregnancy journey and into motherhood (find out how, here!)
But why is this important?
The world is changing - you can’t have failed to notice this.
And, perhaps the most significant change in recent times occurred with the pandemic around 2020.
Now, whatever you believe about the origins and the agenda of this . . . the fallout was that everything changed.
Support services, that had been robust up to this time, were reduced and some were cut to an absolute minimum.
While long periods of lockdown ensued, connection with family and friends became difficult and people became increasingly isolated. I know that many pregnant women struggled and a former colleague mentioned that there had been a significant increase in mental health issues around this time.
As way of offering support I began online ‘drop in’ sessions for childbearing women.
Here we gathered to discuss a whole raft of topics (baby related) and there was a great sense of community too.
But, of course, we have no way of knowing what challenging situations might arise in the future.
But I want to ensure that pregnant women and new Mamas are ‘armed’ with effective tools and techniques so they feel empowered to navigate these times intuitively and confidently.
AND NOT FROM A PLACE OF FEAR
Then the choices and decisions they make for themselves and their little ones will be in absolute alignment with their own beliefs and values.
And, by clicking the link, you can find out how I do this . . .
And just as a final thought . . .
What about my little one?
How did she cope with her very rapid entry into the world?
Well - she did very well!
But . . . here’s a fascinating little ‘snippit’
When my daughter, Jess, was a little bit older, I took her to a Cranial Osteopath - who knew nothing about her birth history.
As the treatment was progressing, the Osteopath suddenly turned to me and said -
“When did she get stuck? Because I can feel the fear and the panic that she is still holding in her body now . . . ?”
So, of course, this sparked my curiosity and led me onto a fascinating path of Energy Healing, the Medicine of the Incas and how we can release the emotional and mental traumas that are get ‘stuck’ within our physical bodies.
